There’s more to arrogance than a humility bypass. It is important not to confuse a minor bout of over-confidence or healthy self confidence and assurance with a long-term and deep-rooted corrosive condition. A condition which ties a dead weight to the person suffering it and impacts those they come into contact with.
Defining arrogance and differentiating it from other forms of irritating behaviour probably has as much to do with how others on the receiving end of it feel, as it does to the collection of actions or behaviours that an “Arrogant” person or group may exhibit. Arrogance has an air of grating unpleasantness about it.
Dictionary definitions capture this well. The Cambridge Dictionary in particular, with:
“Unpleasantly proud and behaving as if you are more important than, or know more than, other people.”
Collins American English takes it up a notch defining it as:
“An offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride”
When combined with its frequent travelling companions, ignorance and hypocrisy, arrogance can be especially dangerous. Sadly, both history and present are littered with catastrophic examples of arrogance leading to disaster. Many failed careers, organisations, incompetent governments and devastating conflicts have arrogance as a contributor to their tragedy.
Why? Because from small teams to nations, arrogance is a slayer of good judgement and is cancerous to building healthy cultures.
Exceptional brilliance or a genuinely wonderful contribution might lead us to pump people up or inadvertently water the seeds of arrogance then stimulate the growth of this behavioural weed through tolerance or reinforcement of poor behaviour.
Unrecognised or unchecked these behaviours become harder and harder to sort out. Judgement is impaired, performance suffers, and legends morph into losers in the eventual, inevitable and unseemly resolution of a resulting crisis.
The world has quite a high tolerance to acceptable underperformance of individuals, teams and organisations. So, even if arrogance may not result in a major crisis, arrogance can seriously hold back performance. Those with low levels of self-awareness who lose contact with reality and weak leaders may not even be aware of just how much better things could be. Those with high humility but not enough confidence may be prepared to tolerate or stand by.
Yet the harmful can also be comical. From the stock character, the arrogant but incompetent leader in Roman comedies to those ridiculed in contemporary political satire, the sport of poking fun at the arrogant has brought considerable enjoyment through the ages.
Drivers of arrogance can have as much to do with “Under” as well as “Over” confidence. Slighting or humiliating another person might be motivated by a need to camouflage or distract from our own inadequacies and to inflate perceived capabilities.
The late great Nelson Mandela, known in later life for his humility, acknowledged this in “Conversations With Myself”, a compilation of personal papers and recordings.
"As a young man, I combined all the weaknesses, errors and indiscretions of a country boy, whose range of vision and experience was influenced mainly by events in the area in which I grew up and the colleges to which I was sent. I relied on arrogance to hide my weaknesses.”
Something I have observed in a number of Chairs and CEOs over the years is the calm confidence and humility they have with a successful executive career behind them. It may not be universal, but I always appreciate it when I see it.
So, what does the behavioural science say, why is it so corrosive to judgement, what are the signs of damaging arrogance and how might we help ourselves and others avoid falling into the abyss of arrogance?
What does the behavioural science say?
This is a surprisingly under-researched area. However, arrogance is frequently included as an element of research into related behavioural conditions such as narcissism or autocracy.
For those interested in delving deeper, Foundations of Arrogance - A broad survey and framework for research, published in the Review of General Psychology in 2019, does what it says on the tin. It also bangs the drum for more research into the subject and demonstrates humility with 17 names on the paper.
It describes three categories of arrogance and six components contributing to them, namely:
A helpful framework for the diagnosis of arrogance and for figuring out how to deal with it.
Why is arrogance so corrosive to judgement?
It’s hard to make the best judgement when you deny yourself the best information for lack of listening to others or losing their respect and them giving up on telling you things because you don’t listen.
Harder still when you have distorted information, limitations, overestimate your abilities and resist new information about those limitations. Combine this with a false sense of security, a failure to consider the perspectives of others and a belief or assumption of superiority that uses up mind space and energy in denigrating others and the hit to performance is obvious.
All 6 of the components of arrogance described above play a part. Arrogance can also be contagious. Especially to those who are impressionable or feel they need to join in with the behaviour of those with greatest influence around them. The dangers of Groupthink are legendary and made worse when fuelled by arrogance. An additional risk is that when someone feels that normal rules don’t apply to them and others in the group are compliant or reinforcing of that view, unethical behaviour may swiftly follow.
What are the signs of damaging arrogance?
Lack of self-awareness is usually a giveaway. As are displays of Aysmmetric Sensitivity where people demand huge sensitivity towards their feelings but show so little sensitivity to others.
A lack of respect or interest in the perspectives of other people, talking over, or constantly interrupting them is another big clue. Add to this regular demonstrations of “Mirroring” bias, only listening to those of similar profile, and a lack of respect for others time, a high level of status consciousness and “Ruling Class” syndrome and the diagnosis becomes quite clear.
Yet there’s more. The habit of going in hard and preying on those who are weaker in the group or less confident, is another clear signal. An overly strong attachment to rhetoric over logic or new evidence, another. Potentially leading the person into a more sinister place. The dreadful pit of misogyny and racism.
One often overlooked practical item is also how they view their expense account. I remember well in my executive career being frustrated by the odd colleague who would moan about the costs of support functions at the same time as spending far more proportionately on their trips than anyone else in the business. Happily, as evidenced in The Value that's in your data report from SAP Concur, these days “Spend Governance” systems such as SAP Concur’s are a lot more sophisticated and bringing levels of transparency that help to call this out.
So, it should be easy to spot the signs.
How might we help ourselves and others avoid falling into the abyss of arrogance?
Behavioural change is rarely microwaveable. It’s usually more of a process than a moment and often starts with increasing our own or someone else’s self-awareness. Reflecting on interactions, active listening to others and seeking feedback, even though it may be uncomfortable, increases self-awareness.
It is also important to think about how self-aware we are and whether we have any arrogance issues ourselves before we go try and help someone else. Bit like a parent on a flight, harder to help your child or elderly relative with their oxygen mask if you are choking yourself.
Knowing that you or someone else has an issue is only the start. Doing something about it can be more challenging. I remember once having a colleague who told me that he knew “He was an arrogant *** but that people should be more than happy to tolerate that for (his) incisive contributions.“. He sadly never appreciated how much more effective he might have been or took responsibility for how much misery he caused.
If we become aware we have a problem or have helped someone else to, then the next logical stage is checking our diagnosis and calibrating it with more than one person. We also need to avoid falling falling into the trap of thinking that just because someone doesn’t agree with us a few times and seems unprepared to change their view that they are arrogant. The issue may be us.
Aggregating feedback for someone without them feeling like a ganging-up has taken place requires thought. Even with thought there is always the risk of provoking defensiveness rather than reflection.
Always useful to remember when giving or receiving feedback or providing constructive challenge to choose your words carefully. There’s a spectrum of directness from blunt classics at one end such as “You’ve got incredible talent and potential. If only you could stop making people cry you might stand some chance of fulfilling it.” to skillful probing that produces self-discovery. Then at the other end of the spectrum, words so subtle that the person thinks you’re congratulating their modesty.
An organisation’s culture as well as that prevailing locally will helpfully or unhelpfully provide a tonal context for such conversations. There are big cultural norm differences in the way that feedback is expected and many a traveller, including myself, has erred in this regard.
Another route is to make them aware of the collateral damage that they are causing for their team, business unit or the organisation. Churn can be a useful evidence point here. Understanding the consequences and costs of persistent arrogance is helpful and people are often prepared to change or at least moderate their behavior to keep on the road to the prize even if it means gripping the wheel intensely from time to time.
Noticing and reinforcing changed behaviour helps. Then having had a productive feedback conversation and generated the right atmosphere suggesting coaching and mentoring might be a good next step. Finding someone the person respects to provide it is important. Often valuable to provide choice so that they own the selection.
Sometimes reactions can surprise and it might result in the need to deploy some conflict management skills to make progress. It’s not uncommon for arrogance to be combined with poor conflict management skills, compounding the problem. My last LinkedIn article Managing Conflict Well - An underacknowledged Superpower contains a lot more on this.
Finally, I always remind myself that coping with someone who is arrogant is not the same as helping them to change and that learning the skills to help people to change invariably results in helping ourselves as well as our boards and colleagues.
Patrick Dunne
Experienced Chair and author of the award-winning book Boards.
This article has been sponsored by SAP Concur – industry-leading technology that automates travel, expense and invoice spend processes. The fee will be donated to Royal Voluntary Service who mobilise volunteers in every corner of Britain to support people in need.